$9,800 a year as a Louisville coffee house barista. But even this dame couldn’t get hired there

time-clockBoulevard reports extensively on executive pay at big local employers. But we also look at what folks make down in the trenches — and behind those huge commercial espresso machines. This is from a recent ad in The Courier-Journal’s help-wanted section for Louisville.

The job: Starbucks barista.

The duties: If you guessed, make “coffee.” Or even, make one of those obnoxious Starbucks orders, like a “venti, half-whole milk, one-quarter 1%, one-quarter non-fat, extra-hot, split-quad shots, no-foam latte, with whip, two packets of Splenda, one sugar-in-the-raw, a touch of vanilla syrup, and three short sprinkles of cinnamon” — well, you’d still be off.

The Seattle-based purveyor of coffee culture says being a barista actually means “contributing to Starbucks success by providing legendary customer service.” Of course, it’s not all that vague. You’ll need to

  • Maintain a calm demeanor during periods of high volume or unusual events to keep the store operating to standard and to set a positive example for the team.

On the other hand, some of it does sound awfully touchy-feely/New Age-y. For example, be prepared to

  • Anticipate customer and store needs by constantly evaluating customers for “cues.” You’ll need to pass along that information to a manager so the team can respond as necessary to create the required “Third Place” environment.

Ditto for

  • Recognizing “alarms,” or changes in co-worker morale and passing that along, too.

Perhaps most surprising to anyone who’s visited a Louisville Starbucks recently, there really is a limit to what you can wear, because the dress code

  • Prohibits displaying tattoos, piercings in excess of two per ear, and unnatural hair colors, such as blue or pink.

What it pays: Maddeningly, the ad doesn’t post this most important information. But employment site Glassdoor reports the nationwide average for Starbucks baristas is $9.42 an hour. Working 20 hours a week, 52 weeks a year, you’d make about $9,800, before taxes.

Related: You say “barista,” we say “baristo” — or do we?

Photo, top: Dame Helen Mirren was briefly tickled pink at the BAFTA Awards ceremony in 2013.

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